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Lunduke's Random Linux Marketing Anecdotes
April 15, 2024
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My days working in Linux marketing were... interesting.  It was a truly unique experience.  Wouldn't trade a moment of it (even the less than enjoyable parts).

Because I am feeling nostalgic, here's a few little tidbits from my time selling Linux-y stuff for Linux-y companies.

SUSE - The Oldest Linux Company

I spent roughly 4 years at SUSE as -- I kid you not -- often the only person, in the entire marketing department, who actually used Linux.  As such I tended to be the guy that every random marketing idea needed to be run by... you know, just to make sure SUSE didn't end up saying something that insulted Linux-folk.

Seriously.  It was crazy.  At one point the lady who ran all of marketing -- for the oldest Linux company -- had almost no clue, whatsoever, about how to even begin using Linux.  Or what the history of Linux was.  Or what the major projects were.

It was like if the head of marketing for Coca Cola had never tasted Coke before... and refused to even take a sip.  And was only vaguely aware that it was even a liquid.

Just the same... most of the time it was pretty fun.  I kept churning out ad campaigns that were some of the biggest successes SUSE had ever had -- resulting in SUSE numbers shooting up -- and, as a result, they gave me a lot of freedom.

Of the many varied and weird marketing projects I put together at SUSE... my favorite was a music video parody of "Uptown Funk"... about Linux kernel patching.

"Uptime Funk" was a fun one.  We hired a great group of musicians and dancers -- down in Provo, Utah -- who did a stellar job.  Our cinematographer and editor was absolutely amazing.

And, most importantly, nobody messed with my lyrics.  Which made me happy.  🤣

I tell ya.  The executives almost always messed with my words.

I remember, one time I wrote a parody of Justin Timberlake's "Can't Stop the Feeling".  I turned it into a song about a guy eating pie a dinner... singing about how he runs Linux on absolutely everything in his house.  He compulsively installs Linux on everything.  If it has electricity, he installs Linux on it.  And then he installs Linux inside of VMs on Linux.  And he uses a remote X session to log into his crock pot.

It was glorious.  And ridiculous.

Then the powers that be swooped in.  Non-Linux-understanding marketing people got assigned to "revise" the lyrics with the explicit instruction of making it "more marketing-y".

The result was "Can't Stop the SUSE".  Which, annoyingly, still lists me as having written the lyrics.  I'll let you decide how I feel about that song.

Near the end of my tenure at SUSE, things weren't quite as fun.  At one point I recall getting into an argument with the VP of Marketing... who told me, point blank, to never use the phrase "Free Software" and to stop talking about "Open Source" so much.

Seriously.  Things were going in a weird direction.

Then I left, SUSE got a new CEO, and everything went to heck in a handbasket for the oldest Linux company.

Purism - The Linux Hardware Guys

I spent a short spell as the Director of Marketing at Purism -- a company which sells laptops and whatnot pre-loaded with Linux.  While I ended up leaving the company due to some disagreements over how the business was run... there were definitely some fun moments.

For the launch of Librem One (Purism's effort to make a privacy-respecting online service), we created a commercial.  It's just a wee bit naughty.  No swearing but... definitely a lot of innuendo.  😎

You might recognize the voice at the end.

Ultimately, the Librem One service had some success -- but was severely bogged down by technical issues, and code licensing conflicts, early on.  Which was a bummer.  Really hobbled what could have otherwise been a fun product launch.

But, heck, the commercial was fun.  So it had that going for it!

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After the "Worker Intifada" declared they would occupy Microsoft Campus "as long as it takes" for Microsoft to cut ties with "the murderous Zionists", the event barely lasted past lunch.

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"Andreas Kling creator of Serenity OS & Ladybird Web Browser" - Lunduke’s Big Tech Show - September 13th, 2023 - Ep 044

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Then you can get full access on both Substack and Locals (or just one if you prefer)... for life.

Considering how long The Lunduke Journal has been around -- and the fact that I've been covering Tech for roughly 20 years now -- that Lifetime option is shaping up to be just about the best deal. Ever.

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The UK government has agreed to drop its request that Apple provide it with backdoor access to user data, U.S. Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard said on Monday.

Gabbard stated on X that the agreement came after months of working with UK partners, alongside President Donald Trump, and Vice President JD Vance, to ensure Americans’ private data and civil liberties are protected

“As a result, the UK has agreed to drop its mandate for Apple to provide a ‘back door’ that would have enabled access to the protected encrypted data of American citizens and encroached on our civil liberties,” she said.


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Microsoft “Worker Intifada” Escalates, 18 Arrested, More Violence Planned
After two days of increasing levels of violence, with demands that Microsoft cut all ties to Israel, the anti-Jewish “Worker Intifada” is now planning to siege a transit center.

On August 19th, a group of Microsoft employees — working with some outside organizations and individuals — declared their intention to occupy a portion of Microsoft Main Campus, demanding that Microsoft cut all ties to Israel.

That August 19th event, by the self-declared “Worker Intifada”, lasted only 4 hours before those involved voluntarily left (after being told they may be subject to arrest). Following that event, the “Intifada” declared an intention to escalate activities.

Yesterday, August 20th, the “Worker Intifada” returned to Microsoft Main Campus East - which the “Intifada” has declared a “Liberated Zone”.

 

According to multiple reports, the organizers vandalized Microsoft property, stole furniture from both Microsoft and a the independent vendors at a Famers Market (which was scheduled to take place at that time), and screamed obscenities, anti-Jewish statements, and blood libel regarding Israel and Jews at those attending the Farmers Market on the Microsoft plaza.

The “Intifada” poured red paint — to symbolize blood — and laid out fake dead bodies around Microsoft signs. With many waving a Palestinian flag.

 

After refusing to cease vandalism and trespassing, 18 of the “Intifada” members became “aggressive”, and were arrested by Redmond Police Department.

According to the Redmond PD X account:

“18 arrested for various charges during a protest at Microsoft Campus Redmond police are at the scene of a demonstration at the Microsoft campus.

On Aug 20, around 12:15 p.m., Redmond officers were dispatched to a large gathering of protestors in the Microsoft courtyard.

Officers initially attempted to trespass the protestors, but they resisted and became aggressive.

A few protesters had poured paint over the Microsoft sign and on the ground. Others had blocked a pedestrian bridge and were using stolen tables and chairs from vendors to form a barrier.

Officers took 18 into custody for multiple charges, including trespassing, malicious mischief, resisting arrest, and obstruction. No injuries were reported.”

The response from the “Intifada” organizers confirmed those details.

 

“The “Intifada” organizers made the following statement on X, following yesterday’s arrests:

“In response to this peaceful opposition of war crimes, Microsoft and Redmond Police retaliated against protestors with the brutal mass arrest of 18 protestors, chemical weapons, and physical violence.

Current workers, former workers, and community members were hog-tied, violently dragged, and pepper sprayed in a repressive escalation. Microsoft and Redmond Police chose to dehumanize, brutalize, and criminalize people of conscience for opposing Microsoft's ACTUAL war crimes.

As we recognize the sacrifice made by those arrested today, we also recognize that this militarism and physical violence pale in comparison to the experiences Palestinians are forced to endure.

Every day for the past 22 months, the Israeli military has used Microsoft technology to starve and bomb Palestinians in Gaza, while actively displacing Palestinians in an ongoing campaign of ethnic cleansing.

Let us be clear: no violence will shut down escalation efforts against Microsoft's complicity in war crimes. The Worker Intifada is an answer to Gaza's call for action, and so The Worker Intifada will live on. THE MORE THEY TRY TO SILENCE US, THE LOUDER WE WILL BE!”

The “Worker Intifada” has another event planned for today — Thursday, August 21st, at 4pm — to “honor Palestinian martyrs killed with weapons and tools powered by Microsoft”.

 

This event appears to be planned in order to disrupt local traffic and transportation — the “Intifada” plans to gather at the “Redmond Technology Station”, a transit center and Park-and-Ride location used by Microsoft employees.

The event is timed to coincide, precisely, with the start of the evening rush hour — in an area which is known to experience significant traffic congestion.

 

The “Worker Intifada” has previously declared their intention to escalate their activities, stating “we will not rest”, “we will continue to escalate”, and that they will engage in activities which “cannot be ignored”.

Considering their usage of Hamas (a terrorist organization with the stated objective of the murder of all Jews and Israelis) language and talking points, it seems a reasonable assumption that this “Worker Intifada” is suggesting that they intend to commit increasingly violent acts.

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Worker Intifada Occupies Microsoft Main Campus, Demands MS Cut All Ties With Israel
The group has declared an intention to occupy Microsoft East Campus Plaza until Microsoft cuts ties with “the murderous Zionists” and pays “reparations” for “AI Genocide”.

A group of Microsoft employees have launched what they are calling a “Worker Intifada” at Microsoft Main Campus in Redmond, Washington.

The “Intifada” group is demanding that Microsoft cut all ties with Israel, and pay reparations to the government of Gaza (Hamas)… an amount to be decided by later Hamas. Until Microsoft meets those demands, the “Intifada” is threatening to continue to occupy the Microsoft property.

 

Photo credit: https://x.com/thestustustudio/status/1957924513938620743

The “Worker Intifada” made the following statement today:

“We will not be cogs in the I​s​r​a​e​l​i​ genocidal machine: a call for a Worker I​n​t​i​f​a​d​a": in a company-wide email to workers and leadership, Microsoft worker Julius Shan shared reminders of the company's complicity and announced the establishment of a Liberated Zone at the M​a​r​t​y​red P​a​l​e​s​t​i​n​i​a​n​​ Children's Plaza. Julius also called on fellow workers to join the global Worker Intifada, by escalating against Microsoft everywhere until all demands from the Liberated Zone are met. Read the full declaration from the Liberated Zone at: http://noaa.cc/worker-intifada

This “Worker Intifada Liberated Zone” is taking place at what is known as “Microsoft East Campus Plaza” — which the “Intifada” has given the name “Martyred Palestinian Children’s Plaza”.

 

It is worth noting that this is right in the heart of the development of Microsoft’s most famous software. Office, Windows, Windows Media, and more were all developed within a very short walk of East Campus Plaza.

There has been some police and Microsoft security presence at the “Intifada Liberated Zone” so far today. As of this reporting, no serious events to report.

 

Photo Credit: https://x.com/thestustustudio/status/1957921589628113380

The “Worker Intifada”, in their statements (both written and verbal), repeatedly make known false statements and blood libel regarding Israel — and repeatedly use phrases common among anti-Jewish and anti-Israeli terrorist groups.

What follows are images of some of the statements made by this “Microsoft Worker Intifada”. Presented, without comment.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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MS Office for PowerPC Windows NT Found!
You can now run Windows NT (with Office) on a Nintendo Wii & an original iMac. Seriously. That's a real thing.

There are two things that bring me an unreasonable amount of joy:

  1. The discovery of long-lost software.

  2. Running software on hardware it was never intended to run on.

This story has both. I am positively giddy.

Microsoft Office for PowerPC

It is a well known fact that Windows NT was developed (and, in some cases, released) for multiple CPU architectures beyond the common x86 — including MIPS, DEC Alpa, and PowerPC.

In addition to Windows NT, Microsoft developed and released versions of Office (Word, Excel, Powerpoint) for those hardware platforms. Not much good having the operating system for a particular CPU… if you don’t have some software to run on it, right?

We’ve had public archives of Microsoft Office for both MIPS and Alpha CPUs for quite some time… but the PowerPC version of Office has, for whatever reason, remained elusive.

Until this week, when Antoni Sawicki got his hands on the long-lost Office for PPC.

Image
 

Antoni was alerted to an eBay listing of a boxed copy of MS Office 6.0. A box which, intriguingly, listed all four of the released Windows NT CPU architectures.

As Antoni said, “Since it clearly said PowerPC on the box I got it… and here it is:”

Image
 

Check out that screenshot. Windows NT 4.0, running on a PPC 604 processor (with 32 MB of RAM)… running a native version of Microsoft Word 6.0.

The archive for the PowerPC version of Office is now hosted at VirtuallyFun.com. A major win for computer history preservation.

Now, buckle up, Buttercup. Because it gets weirder. And more awesome.

Windows NT For Wii & PowerMac

The archiving of historical software is, without question, important. But being able to actually run that software — on easily obtainable hardware — allows people to experience that part of computer history.

And, thanks to one developer, you can run Windows NT 3.51 and 4.0 on Nintendo GameCube, Wii, & WiiU as well as PPC Macintoshes like the original iMac and iBook.

That’s right. Apple’s original, clamshell, “bondi blue” G3 iBook can run Windows NT 4.0.

An iBook G3 Clamshell with the about menu for Windows NT 4.0 open.
 

Not emulated. Native. On “bare metal”.

In theory, it should be able to run the PowerPC native version of Office 6.0 as well. Something I will need to be testing, for myself, very soon.

Now, you may be asking, “Why would I install Windows NT and Office on a Nintendo Wii”?

And, while there are many valid reasons for undertaking such an endeavor — including that whole “experiencing computer history first hand” thing we talked about — there is one purpose for running MS Word on a GameCube that eclipses all others:

Because we can.

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