According to a confidential source, Canonical (the parent company of Ubuntu Linux) has implemented a new marketing strategy: "Stay quiet and watch Red Hat implode."
"Let's be honest, marketing Linux is hard," stated an anonymous source, whose name rhymes with Shmark Shmuttleworth. "But now, with Red Hat stepping in a big steaming pile of cow doodie every other day? Shoot. All we need to do is stop talking and we instantly look better by comparison. It's like Red Hat is running a multi-Million dollar ad campaign to convince their customers to switch to Ubuntu. I'll take it!"
Earlier this month, Red Hat announced a bold new plan to forbid customers of their Open Source software from letting other people see the source. An anonymous Red Hat employee has informed The Lunduke Journal that this new strategy carries the internal code name "Ajar Source".
"It's technically... 'Open'. But, you know... just like... a little bit," stated the Red Hat employee. "When a door is ajar, you can give it just the teensiest, tiniest little nudge. And boom! That door is closed. That's kinda what we were going with here. We want to get people away from using the phrase 'Open Source'. That's too... final. It makes it sound like it's permanently 'open'. We think 'Ajar Source' conveys our intentions so much more clearly."
While this new policy was not met with overwhelming enthusiasm by those in the Linux and Open Source industry, Red Hat continued making announcements. Including a new Fedora Linux proposal to spy on all users, and a new marketing campaign which Red Hat calls "Free as in Freeloaders."
In other news, Richard Stallman's head has exploded.
